Creating A Family Financial Agreement for Results
By Stewart Levine, Esq.
[This article is adapted from “The Book of Agreement: 10 Essential Elements for Getting the Results You Want” (Berrett-Koehler, Dec. 2002.) “With less focus on the purely psychological aspects of reaching agreement than GETTING TO YES, Levine's becomes a much more pragmatic approach.” Perdido, Leadership with a Conscience: Review in Fall '02 issue.]
Happy is said to be the family which can eat onions together. They are, for the time being, separate, from the world, and have a harmony of aspiration."
Charles Dudley Warner
My Summer in a Garden
It is much easier not to exercise or brush your teeth in the morning. It is much simpler just to get on with your day. Although stopping to form an agreement before moving forward is more tedious than moving into action immediately, it will not likely produce the results you desire. It’s the difference between
Ready…Fire…Aim
and
Ready… Aim… Fire
The later is much more effective because it provides clear direction before action.
When introducing the concept of Agreements for Results to an audience, I think of the tag line from an old Quaker State Motor Oil commercial - You can pay me now, or you can pay me later. That line holds true when thinking about agreements. Most people never think about investing the time to make explicit the implicit agreement they believe they have at the beginning of a new personal or professional relationship, team, or project. They’re off and running, everyone with their own vision of the destination, and how to get there, without the clarity necessary to minimize the potential for conflict. Like the Quaker State warning of engine damage if you don’t do the preventative maintenance of changing your oil, they will incur the cost of inevitable conflict, a cost that can be prevented.
When we think about the idea of having an agreement we usually think about long legal documents, lots of “what ifs” and how we can protect ourselves from something we do not want to happen. I am a bit brainwashed because of my background as a lawyer, and the mindset I was taught to step into when “protecting” clients. When I serve others in my role as a Resolutionary protection is what people are concerned about. They do not want to get hurt. I believe that we would all be better off if when beginning a new endeavor we could shift our focus to a vision of results you want to produce, not the calamities you want to avoid.
The following Ten Essential Elements make up the template of items that are elementary items that must be discussed if you want to create a vision and a map to getting the results you want. I have compared the mindset of an “Agreements for Results”
perspective, with the traditional Agreements for Protection” mental model. Notice the difference and please think about which one is more effective.
The elements of an effective agreement are:
1. INTENT & VISION
2. ROLES
3. PROMISES
4. TIME & VALUE
5. MEASUREMENTS OF SATISFACTION
6. CONCERNS, RISKS and FEARS
7. RENEGOTIATION
8. CONSEQUENCES
9. CONFLICT RESOLUTION
10. AGREEMENT?
RESULTS vs. PROTECTION COMPARED
RESULTS PROTECTION
FOCUS FOCUS
INTENT & VISION : desired outcome “what ifs?”
ROLES : take responsibility limit accountability
PROMISES : commitment qualifiers and conditioners
TIME & VALUE : by when’s / fair return most for least
MEASUREMENTS OF : inspiring goals excuses and escapes
SATISFACTION
CONCERNS AND FEARS: compassion / understanding edge for strategic advantage
RENEGOTIATION : deal with unknowns / changes strike hard bargain
CONSEQUENCES : reminder of promises punishment
CONFLICT RESOLUTION: get back on track exact some premium
AGREEMENT ? : trust enough escape possible?
RESULTS VS. PROTECTION - EXPLAINED
1. INTENT & VISION
RESULTS: Focus on what you want to happen.
PROTECTION: Focus on all the “what ifs” that could go wrong
You can tell what will happen in your life by paying attention to your dominant thoughts. Given that, if we focus on the calamities we increase the chances they will happen. What we really want in any collaborative context is everyone focusing on desired results – the best possible vision of the future. That will greatly improve the chances of what we want to materialize happening. It’s obvious that when you bring on a new hire, it’s more useful to see them leaping tall buildings than focusing on the mistakes they might make.
2. ROLES
RESULTS: Making sure someone has responsibility for all critical tasks
PROTECTION: Narrowly defining responsibility to limit accountability and liability
We want to make sure we have what we need to get the job done without anything slipping through the cracks. We want clarity about who can be counted on for what, compared to someone saying, “that’s not my job!” In the old context people liked to hide. They did not like to take the responsibility for making something happen because if something went wrong, they were responsible. Hopefully the fear of making mistakes is no longer as powerful a driver it once was. We have all learned that the need for innovation requires experimentation. We know that mistakes cannot be “punished” if you expect continued risking, the heart of entrepreneurship.
3. PROMISES
RESULTS: Contribution - committing to wholeheartedly do your part required for
success, not out of coercion, but from belief in the projects mission
PROTECTION: Doing the least; hiding behind qualifying words that cloud and
condition what you are promising
Who specifically will be doing what? Consider this a project management plan. This is also a checkpoint - if everyone delivers what he or she promises, will you produce the desired results? In the example promises were made about securing financing, sales goals, producing collateral material, and timeframes for creative design deadlines. Each promise must have the discipline of a “by when,” as without a date commitment is illusory.
4. TIME & VALUE .
RESULTS: Clear time commitments and satisfaction with the value given and
received
PROTECTION: The most for the least
Clearly stated “BY WHEN’S,” and for how long the promises will be kept. Everyone must be satisfied that what they will get from the project is worth what they are putting in. If someone is under compensated they will be resentful. Resentful participants do not produce results that are “beyond expectation,” but people committed to a vision do.
5. MEASUREMENTS OF SATISFACTION
RESULTS: Goals that inspire and state clearly and measurably what is expected
PROTECTION: Qualifiers to argue from and use as excuses
What are the objective measures that will tell you if you accomplished what you set out to do so there are no arguments about it? For some people it is frightening to make a commitment that will hold them visibly accountable to a promise they made, so they will look for an edge.
6. CONCERNS AND FEARS
RESULTS: Compassion for any “anxiety-producing” concerns and risks that a
“partner” sees and feels
PROTECTION: An edge to take strategic advantage of when you are inside their
head, in a position to play “games”
You address concerns and fears to make everyone as comfortable as possible about moving forward. Doing this is a way of responding to “internal chatter” that might inhibit full participation. It solidifies partnership by addressing what is lingering in people’s minds. It enables people to clearly identify risks, and to choose to move forward anyway. Each person should be willing to take the other’s deal.
7. RENEGOTIATION
RESULTS: How can we make this work as unanticipated changes take place
PROTECTION: How can changes be used for advantage
A commitment to renegotiation requires ongoing learning, and staying in the mind set of solving a mutual problem to get desired results even though things happened no one anticipated (which is one thing you can be sure of.) This is the key principal that drives every learning organization.
8. CONSEQUENCES
RESULTS: What reminds everyone of the significance of promises and failure
PROTECTION: What would be a good punishment
It is important to keep people mindful of promises they made and focused on delivering promised performance. It is as important to have people realize the connection between their expectations and failure to perform. Becoming conscious of that gap serves as a motivator. Consequences are put in place not as punishment, but to remind us of the loss of an unrealized vision, and the sanctity of our promises.
9. CONFLICT RESOLUTION
RESULTS: What will get us back on track quickly
PROTECTION: How can the resolution process be used for leverage or advantage?
It is important to embrace conflict as expected and to hold it as an opportunity for creativity in how we deal with specifics we did not anticipate. It is very important to understand the magnitude of the transaction cost of remaining in conflict.
10. AGREEMENT ?
RESULTS: Do I trust enough to be in an open, ongoing collaboration
PROTECTION: Can I get out without getting hurt? Is there an opportunity for
a windfall?
Has the process produced enough trust so you can say “Let’s do it, I’m comfortable moving forward with you, and sense we’ll be able to work things out as we go forward.”
Has the deep dialogue we have exchanged produced what Max DePree calls a relationship based on covenant – a heart felt connection and commitment to people and results.
A FAMILY AGREEMENT FOR FINANCIAL RESULTS
Conflicts can disappear if you put in place a specific agreement setting up some rules about how a family will handle their finances. When you have conflict the best resolution is a new agreement for the future. That is the way to both solve a problem, and avoid the need to process the conflict. But, it only works if everyone involved is willing to consciously engage and create the framework for how the family will handle its finances.
Agreements are a fundamental life skill we never learned when we were young. It is the primary building block for all kinds of collaborations, and working with others is the only way results, productivity and satisfying relationship happen.
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Stewart improves productivity while saving the enormous cost of conflict using “Agreements for Results” and “Resolutionary” conversational models. As a lawyer he realized fighting is ineffective in resolving problems. At AT&T he learned why collaborations fail: people do not create clarity about what they want to accomplish, and how they will get there. He has worked across the organizational spectrum – Fortune 500, small, government and non-profit. His “Cycle of Resolution” is included in the “Change Handbook, 2d Edition.” His book "Getting to Resolution: Turning Conflict into Collaboration” (Berrett-Koehler 1998, 2009) was an Executive Book Club Selection; Featured by Executive Book Summaries; named one of the 30 Best Business Books of1998; and called “a marvelous book” by Dr. Stephen Covey. It has been translated into Russian, Hebrew and Portuguese. “The Book of Agreement” (Berrett-Koehler 2003) has been endorsed by many thought leaders, called “more practical” than the classic “Getting to Yes” and named one of the best books of 2003 by CEO Refresher (www.Refresher.com). Along with David Coleman he wrote “Collaborate 2.0” that was released in February 2008. He teaches communication, relationship management and conflict management skills for The American Management Association and The International Partnering Institute. www.ResolutionWorks.com
ResolutionWorks is a consulting and training organization dedicated to providing skills and ways of thinking needed to build strong organizational cultures in all types of working environments.
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